glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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