hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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