I like my sex mixed with concussions.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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