I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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