never play flip cup with pint glasses
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
