I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
