I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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