she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
