After last night, I could never be a politician.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
