So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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