Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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