So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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