Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I smell stomach acid.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
