on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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