Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
