SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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