And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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