I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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