fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
