Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
