She is in my trunk
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
