Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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