Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
