I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
