my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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