drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The power of my boobs compel you
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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