I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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