So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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