I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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