just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
