What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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