Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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