a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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