last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
