I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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