her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
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white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
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But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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