I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize