I think I am morally bankrupt
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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