i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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