you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
As shirtless as possible
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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