What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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