this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
