Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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