I just saw a hot homeless man
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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