Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
