youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
