...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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