I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize