but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
