She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
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Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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