we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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