I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
