you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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