he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
