I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
