I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Found your dick twin last night
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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