WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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