I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
