she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
