Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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