I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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