Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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