You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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